January. Baby.

Holy crap, you guys, where has the entire month of January gone?  Seriously.  I blinked.  Here we are.

They say that sleep deprivation has a positive influence on your creativity.  If this is true, this’ll be my most poetic posting yet.  I have to warn you though, this post is going to contain a ridiculous number of baby photos.  It seems like I can’t help but take pictures of this small child constantly!  Sadly, you, the public, shall pay the ultimate price of being forced to look at them all the time.  Consider it your punishment.  

So, where to begin?  Baby.  She’s two months old now.  All those stupid things parents say, the  ones where you think to yourself, “That is a stupid cliche saying, and it’s not true.  You are just obsessed with your child.”  Well friends, much like those same things about pregnancy– they’re true.  They’re totally true.  How can I be a total adult and still be learning that my parents and grandparents were RIGHT?  Why must you guys be RIGHT all the time??  Now you’re looking all smug, like “I told you so, Karissa.  You simply had to mature enough to believe me.”  Damn.  RIGHT AGAIN.  Knock it off already.

Anyway.  An example of this smug parental rightness is that this small child gets cuter every day.  I know.  Gag.  BUT SO TRUE!  At least from this perspective.  Which, admittedly, is biased.  You can check out these photos and vote for yourself:

Jason is both hilarious and extremely adorable with her, as you might imagine.  When changing her diaper, he talks to Evelyn about the baby in the mirror– he calls her “your friend who looks just like you!”  As in, “Who is that, E?  It’s your friend who looks just like you!”  The changing table is near the bed, but in the middle of the night when Jason changes her diaper, all I can see are tiny feet waving in the air.  SLAY ME WITH CUTENESS.  That’s the theme of this blog.  Wielding the Hammer of Cuteness, Evelyn destroys all in her path!  I’m writing a children’s book called Hammer of Cuteness.  Okay, I’m not, but I could be.  Sounds pretty good, right?  Evelyn, Diaper Slayer is the main character (Jason thought of that one).  

Is this blog slightly random?  Yeah.  You try sleeping in 2-3 hour blocks every night for two months.  Gah.  I woke up the other day remembering a dream– and I was like, HOLY CRAP, I had a DREAM!  Gotta get into a good REM sleep to have one of those.  Sadly, I think I was more tired after it.  Ha.

So Christmas happened, which was awesome.  Having Evelyn completely changed the dynamic of the holiday.  All my family wanted to do was play with the baby.  And take pictures of the baby.  And talk about the baby.  It was pretty amazing– they’re pretty psyched.  Jason was pretty cute about it as well– his suggestion for Evelyn’s Christmas present was either to fill her stocking full of frozen breastmilk, or to make a breastmilk sundae– cream breastmilk into ice cream, and then whip some into whipped cream.  Feed to the baby.  Yeeeaaaahh.  Right.  

Another hilarious Christmas Jason-ism– we had the nativity set up, and while holding Evelyn, he pointed to the baby Jesus and said, “Look Evelyn, he was your age when he was born!”  Ha.  No?  Not funny?  I thought it was pretty great.

Check her out on Christmas:

Uncle George and LT, in a santa outfit.

She’s a tiny present!

Tiny and Grandpa really like each other.

Super pissed at me already for playing dress up.  Best.  Photo. Ever.

Evelyn and Aunt Mia are chatting.

I don’t think Suzanne likes her at all.

Antoinette and the tiny one.

Laughing at Jason’s jokes already.

Throwin’ gang signs.  That’s why her rapper name is Lil’ Teebs.

I mean, seriously.  Seriously.  Most of those photos were taken by my cousin Angela, who is an amazing photographer.  Jason was not kidding when he said a baby is like a super-puppy.  She is irresistible.  Even when she’s screaming.  She’s going to get so pissed when she’s older, because we already think her crying is cute and funny.  Not the reaction she’s looking for, I think.

True Facts About the Tiny Baby:
She is cuter than 3 puppies put together.
She is cuter than that baby panda video, and that Superbowl commercial.
Her diapers are filled with curry.
She can poop with enough force to explode diapers.  Truly.
The Tiny Baby’s favorite activity is to attempt to utterly confuse it’s sleep deprived parents. 

Have you seen the True Facts videos?  I hope you have, and I hope you read that section in that guy’s voice.  And if not, go here and watch them IMMEDIATELY:

True Facts About the Mantis Shrimp

Brad Cole described her as ‘just like a Dunbar– tiny body, big voice.’  HA!  I’d dispute that claim, except that would be ridiculous.  Because it’s true.

One of my favorite things LT does is when she spits out her pacifier really forcefully (we totally didn’t want her to have a pacifier, and then I realized I valued my sanity more than some random commitment to nothing weird in her mouth)– anyway, she spits that thing out, and then she looks at you, and I’m pretty dang sure she’s all like, “I threw it on the GROUND.”  And then, she’s probably like, “K, now pick it up.  Can I have it again?  I WANT IT NOW!”  And then 2 seconds later she starts crying.  You know, that’s like, roughly what I’m assuming is happening, watching from this perspective.  

What’s really ironic is that her ‘I’m pooping’ face is the Paris Hilton duck face.  I feel like this is some sort of really advanced baby social commentary.  Also, it’s really funny.

LTB had a chance to meet her namesake– and my grandmother cried.  It was pretty great.  Check out these photos of the two Evelyns (and us, too, of course):

Anyway.  Enough about baby.  What about me?  I’m back at work, have been since the first week of January.  I’m working 3 full days a week, which is pretty sweet– not quite a full schedule, but long enough.  I’m enjoying it– it’s nice to do adult things, to have a break, to have activities that don’t revolve around a child.  I miss her when I’m at work, and pumping is a ridiculous activity, but it’s awesome.  I’m teaching in the Action Center of Mercy Corps, which is the public space for education for the company.  The classes are mostly for middle schoolers, although we also teach high school and college students, and occasionally adults.  It’s so fun to teach kids– they are a total riot.  Mostly because I can act like an idiot, and crack silly jokes, and they love it.  And my boss and co-workers are pretty amazing, so that’s pretty sweet too.

Speaking of pumping, I really haven’t come to terms yet with this whole breastfeeding thing.  I mean, I’m doing it, and it’s great, and it’s so healthy for the baby, but the thing is– MILK is coming out of my BREASTS.  What?  Truly.  You don’t notice it when you feed the baby, except for the fact that she’s a ridiculously messy eater and gets milk all over her face, but you totally notice it when you pump.  It’s like I’m filling little milk cartons.  It’s very strange.

Being at home with ‘O, Littlest of Ones’ (my newest nickname for Evelyn) is a bit crazy.  One minute I never want to put her down, or I put her down and immediately want to pick her up again, and then seriously 10 seconds later, I’m like, ‘HOLY CRAP I NEEDTOGETOUTOFTHISHOUSEANDAWAYFROMTHISBABY!’  It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.  Which is normal, I think, but still takes some getting used to.  We’re getting into a groove, figuring things out.  We’re taking lots of walks, window shopping, running errands– just to get out of the house, just to do something different when I’m not at work.  I took a Mommy-Baby yoga class the other day– so ridiculously cheesy, but still, pretty cute.  I’d do it again.  Leaving the house is complicated though– I normally bring a bunch of crap I don’t need, and now I have to bring twice as much, cause chances are Teebs will ruin an outfit and a couple diapers, all at the same time.  Plus, you can’t leave if she might be hungry in five minutes, or if she hasn’t had her diaper changed in a while… you have to get all those ducks in a row before walking out the door.  Which just means the normal Dunbar punctuality is suffering a bit.  HA!  Like I was ever on time for anything before.  Now I just have a much cuter excuse.

When I’m at work, either Jason, my sister, Bryan Caldwell or my dad are watching Little Tiny.  Which is pretty freaking awesome.  Every day my dad isn’t at work, he comes over to play with the baby.  He’s PSYCHED.  He loves being a Grandpa.  It’s great, it means I can actually accomplish things on my days off.  And I don’t worry about the Tiny One while I’m at work, since she’s at home with people who love her.  It’s been pretty freaking great so far.

And I need to mention how AMAZING my sister is.  What in the world would I do without my sister?  I’m not nearly as fantastic of a sister to her as she is to me.  She watches my baby.  She cleans our house.  She cooks us food.  She goes grocery shopping for us.  She changes diapers and gives Teebs a bath, does our laundry… It’s freaking RIDICULOUS.  I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve such an amazing person in my life.  And I have no idea how to repay her for it.  She’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met.  Nicky, thank you.  You have no idea how much I love you and appreciate everything you are constantly doing for me.  You are the greatest and most wonderful sister I could ever ask for.

I’m healing, which is great.  The incision is healing nicely– doesn’t hurt anymore, though it isn’t close to fully healed yet.  So yeah.  I feel like emotionally I’m doing well– despite the sleeplessness.  It’s like your body really does produce something to make you able to deal, cause if I’d been sleeping like this at this point last year, I’d have been a basketcase.  Not that I was sleeping all that well for the last month or two of pregnancy either– it really was training.

That’s another thing that’s cool– now that I’m not pregnant anymore, I don’t have to pee every five minutes!  The first time I went to the bathroom after I got out of the hospital, I was like, HOLY CRAP, that’s so much pee!  Ha.  Rest assured, I now pee like a normal person again.  I know that was keeping you up at night, wondering.  Don’t ask about the first time I pooped after I got out of the hospital.  Or really, the first two weeks of that.  It’s better I try to forget about that.

Also, my stomach isn’t huge!  I can see my feet!  And my back doesn’t hurt.  And I can sleep on my back, without a million pillows in my bed.  And I don’t snore anymore!  Right, Jason?  At least, I think I don’t snore anymore.   All my shoes fit.  I feel like I have an entirely new wardrobe, even though all of it is stuff I used to own!  I’ve finally retired my Mountain Mama sweatpants and sweatshirt– honestly, I almost didn’t.  I don’t care if they are now too big for me, they are still the most comfortable items I own.  Also, I have BOOBS.  I’ve never had these things before.  I really don’t know what to do with them.  It’s too bad they’re uncomfortable a lot of the time, because Jason really seems to like them.  🙂  I almost feel like I need to go buy shirts that will show off cleavage– I’ve never had cleavage before.  It’s like woah.  However, I now understand why some women don’t like having big boobs– they bounce.  Even when you don’t want them to.  And that’s uncomfortable.  I can’t imagine running without a sports bra with these things.  And seriously, what are you supposed to do with them, anyway?  I mean, besides feed a child.  They just sit there, getting in the way and what not.  It’s way more complicated to lay on my stomach, etc.  Boob smashing is just not cool.

Anyway, sorry about the boob rant.  Back to the aftermath of birth.  I lost 25 pounds in two weeks, with the baby, the blood and fluid loss, etc.  That was crazy.  Too bad I don’t see a noticeable improvement in climbing– while I weigh a lot less, my core is like, ‘WHAT?  You ripped me open and pulled a child out, and now you want me to WORK?  I don’t think so.’  But I am perservering in getting it back.  It’s hard to balance the healing and the resting and the not sleeping with wanting to be fit and active again.  One day I’ll be fine, energetic, excited, and then I’ll just crash.  One night of Evelyn up more than usual and I’m toast, ready for bed by 8pm, too exhausted to eat, even.  So I’m trying to find that balance, trying to push but not too hard, trying to set goals but not too big… hard to do when you’ve never done this before. 

Also, I must be slightly out of my mind.  Right before Christmas, I bought a bunch of really cute Christmas cards with pictures of Teebs on them.  I totally thought, ‘No problem, I will just write all these Christmas cards (actual notes, not just ‘Merry Christmas’ and I’m done) and mail them and it will be done by Christmas.  With the baby.  And visitors over the holidays.  And not sleeping.’  I must be out of my mind.  However, I’ve purchased them.  And they’re cute.  And I’M SENDING THE REST OF THEM OUT, DAMMIT.  So.  If you get a random Christmas card right around Valentine’s Day, you know the reason why.  🙂

Just for entertainment purposes, you should watch this.  If you want to see some funny babies.  Lil’ Teebs has definitely done the first one.

Funny Baby GIFS

Alright, alright, enough already.  Geez.  Longest blog post ever, random and rambling.  Don’t lie, you totally love it.  I’m going to leave you with more baby pictures!  Since you probably just skimmed over all the words, anyway.  🙂

Multi-tasking.

Wearing Jason’s hat.

She’s the perfect size for napping while shopping.

Yes, that was excessive.  Baby spam!