Time Flies When You’re Wiping Butts

Yup, not a joke.  2 months has absolutely flown by– I have no idea how it happened.  So, it’s, like, practically the end of April already!  Holy crap.  I swear I’ve put blogging on my to-do list like a hundred times.  But then I have to prioritize if I’d rather do the dishes or blog, or do my laundry, or take a nap… cause you know both things can’t happen.  And then, friends… napping wins.  Napping pretty much wins all the time, these days. 

Have you been in baby photo and detail withdrawl?  Are you waiting patiently, checking the blog regularly, thinking to yourself, “When in the world is this woman going to POST again?”  Well friends, I’m back.  I can’t promise I’ll have anything interesting to say, but I can promise a plethora of cute child photos.

Life is pretty good here in Dunbar/Marshall baby Portlandia.  As I’m writing, it’s raining.  But hey, you knew that already.  🙂

Actually, we’ve had some awesome weather here in the last few weeks.  Climate change, anyone?  Soon, Portland will have the best weather ever.  Except we’ll be running out of water, and we’ll still have crappy rock to climb.  Ah, well, you can’t have it all.

So!  Stuff!  I swear I have stuff to say.  Tiny child is almost 5 months old now, which is just bonkers.  I’m in a book club, and literally haven’t been able to pick up any of the book club books in six weeks. Not even a page.  It’s terrible.  But lately Evelyn’s sleep has been shifting a bit, and I also think that sleeping in 2-3 hour shifts for like six months straight is just catching up with me.  I’m exhausted.  I’m not going to lie, I’ve had a couple pretty bad days in the last two months.  Good thing Jason is such a great guy, because coming home to your wife crying on the couch is probably a pretty stressful thing.  BUT, having said that, it was all due to sleep deprivation.  The nights I can actually sleep three hour stretches (and very occasionally more!), I’m totally killing it.  It’s the nights she’s up every hour and a half that push me to the edge.  Luckily, caffeine doesn’t transfer into breastmilk!  Potentially very bad for my health, as two weeks ago I drank 40 ounces of it in one day.  It goes down like water.  It’s so good when it hits your lips.  I just can’t help myself.

Mom complaints.  It’s weird to both complain like a mom, and then to refer to yourself as one.  So strange.

What’s silly is that even in the middle of the night, when I’m about to pass out in the rocking chair while breastfeeding, it’s literally impossible for me to not think that this child is the cutest thing on the planet.  Yup.  Evolution and genetics working it’s magic, making you baby crazy while you’re going crazy with the baby.  🙂  Dude, she’s just so damn cute.  Check it out:

Reading her first Valentine’s card, from Uncle George!

Tummy time.

Snow day.

Snowpocalypse sleepover with Karen and Ian!

It’s a big hat.  It’s funny.

Wearing Jason’s slippers.

All dressed up for book club.

 We took a trip to the beach, to stay at a beach house that Jason’s boss hooked us up with– it was awesome.  The child loved it.  She’s an outside baby, for sure.

Of course, Jason is still over the moon with the Tiny. He will hold the child to his face, and pretend that she’s giving him fake kisses, and then he’ll hold her away from him and exclaim, “Thank you!”  Yeah.  Was that one of those stories where you’re like, no-one thinks that’s cute except you because you’re the mom?  Well friends, get ready for an entire blog of that.  Ha!

What else?  The child has a hundred nicknames.  Little T Pooper (there’s a bakery called Little T Baker by our house), Daipirinha (Lara!  It’s a play on Caipirinha, a Brazilian drink), Tiny, Little, Little Beautiful, Little Girlfriend, Girlfriend, E, Ev, and even occasionally Evelyn.  🙂  It’ll be a wonder if she ever figures out what her name actually is.  Not to mention the fact that my family speaks to her pretty much entirely in made up baby talk.  Like, my dad calls her Ebewen.  Yup.  And my cousins pretty much exclusively call her Little Babas.  Even Bryan Caldwell doesn’t tell her he loves her– he says, “I luh yoooou.  I luhhhhh yooooou….”  It’s absolutely ridiculous.  No one likes her.  Not even a little bit.

For the record, babies have lots of liquids in them.  I think this child drools a gallon a day.  Initially, I totally thought she wasn’t going to be a drooler.  And then I was wrong.  And I thought she wasn’t going to be a puker.  And I was wrong.  What’s really gross is when you’re holding her up to your shoulder, and then you just hear the wet splat from where the milk puke hit the floor, soaking your shirt on the way down.  That’s awesome.  Last week I was trying to give her some diaper free time, and when the air from the heater hit her, she shivered and peed on my jeans.  When she was about 2 months old, I was changing her diaper, and she literally pooped a jet stream, aimed straight for me.  It sprayed down my entire front.  I tried to Matrix-style leap out of the way, and totally failed.  That was pretty great.  Honestly, it’s amazing how you get used to substances leaving this child– sometimes it seems like WAY MORE comes out than ever goes in.  Where does it come from?  Baby magic.

Beginning her Settlers of Catan career.


Embarassing photos start early.

And Great-Grandma Evelyn!


Baby yawns.  Kryptonite.

Reading a book with cousin Angela.

In her recliner, bought by my dad.  Munching on Beary Manilow.

This child loves baths.

What other random nonsense about baby-dom can I bore you with?  We think it’s pretty entertaining to narrate her dreams.  As she’s sleeping, she makes a face like she’s about to lose it and cry, and I really think she just dreamed that all the boobs in the world ran dry.  And then she gets a big smile on her face, and I’m pretty sure it’s like she just entered a Vegas-boob-buffet.  I swear.  That’s happening.

She’s laughing now, and talking up a storm.  I think she’s trying to see how loud she can get.  And she’s experimenting with what noises will make us respond.  It’s pretty cute.  She wakes up in the morning, and just starts talking to herself.  And blowing bubbles.  And drooling.  That starts immediately too.   Want to see a video?  Of course you do!  For the record, Jason told me I shouldn’t show this to anyone, as no one except us would want to see it.  So let’s prove him wrong, shall we?

Also, here’s the baby’s first sledding trip.  It snowed like two feet in Portland.  We couldn’t help it.

Yeah.  So life is good.  We’re doing pretty much our usual, just a bit toned down– hiking, climbing, hanging out with friends.  It’s been decently easy, since Tiny isn’t mobile yet, and basically wants to go to bed at 7pm.  We had Jason’s sisters visit, which was AWESOME.  His older sister, Kari, is a baby whisperer.  We’d been rocking her to sleep pretty much every day, and one day, Kari just plops her in her bed, gives her the pacifier, and pats her on the leg.  And after a couple times of putting the pacifier back in, the child FELL ASLEEP.  Holy crap.  It was like a revolution.  Kari, you’re a genius. 

Aunt Miranda reading Evelyn a book.

Aunt Kari baby whispering.

We went to Vegas to visit with Jason’s dad, and got to hang out with our friends Clint and Jeanna, and Jon and Robin DuSaint happened to randomly be in town too!  It was amazing.  Reunion.  We even got to actually rock climb.  At a CRAG.  Like, with real rock (AKA sandstone).  It was great.   Check out a couple photos:

Baby tent at the crag.

It’s actually funny that I’m not in that group photo, cause for a while there, any time a male friend came over, Jason would hold the baby up to their face, and make a puzzled expression and say, “I don’t know… she looks a lot like you…”  Ridiculous.

One thing I totally didn’t expect is how hard it was to go back to work.  Not hard to leave the baby, not hard to miss her, but hard to make the mental transition between being home and being at work.  For a long time there, I felt like I was doing 60% at each one– every time I would get to work, I’d get overwhelmed with how much needed to be done and think, WHY am I not here all week?  And then I’d get home, and it’d be the complete opposite– Why in the hell would I go to work at all?  I’m needed here!  Not to mention the sleep deprivation at work, which keeps me off the top of my game… yeah.  It’s been really challenging.  I really wish, looking back, that I could have taken more time off!  But, I’m getting the hang of it.  I feel like that transition just takes practice, and I’m making progress.  So, that’s a thing.  If you’re thinking of having a baby, you know, just so you know.

Speaking of people having babies, we have a TON of friends who are preggers.  It’s awesome.  I feel like we’re going to create this whole awesome community here.  Also, Corrie and Travis Klein, two awesome friends and climbers up here, had a baby five days after us.  He’s a boy named Foster, and we’re totally going to arranged marriage these children so that they breed the next generation of super climber.  Not to like, be weird about it or anything.  But that’s happening.  But they are moving to Kentucky!  They’re abandoning us for real rock.  I can’t say I blame them.  So Teebs and Foster will have to have a long distance arranged marriage for now.

Hmm.  Is this blog long enough already or what?  Know what else?  Guess who’s awesome?  Jason.  Just sayin’.

So I think this blog is coming to an end.  There’s only so much my sleep deprived mind can think of to make fun of, you know.  Again, more ridiculous baby pictures.  I just LOVE THIS CHILD.  It’s ridiculous.  I really didn’t know it was possible.  It’s seriously the type of love that just makes me want to SQUEEZE her.  All the time.  I promise not to squeeze the baby like a bottle of ketchup, but I’m just letting you know that the thought has crossed my mind.  How is it possible to love a tiny little thing so much?  I have no idea.  But it’s pretty great.

So, we miss you guys!  Come visit Portland!  The best season of the year is about to begin…

Thanks for the hat, Jessica!

Photo by Angela.  She totally has red hair.

Yup.  A redhead.  Photo by Angela.

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